So it was a couple of months ago when my friend James suggested I start my own blog. Naturally, I chuckled and said “I don’t know if that’s for me” (or something along those lines). I’d never kept a diary, or a journal, or written articles for a newsletter. Couple that with my self-confidence issues, I’d never once thought that I could write anything online that people would actually read or care about. But then a few weeks ago, something changed.
My brain started to toy with the idea of writing a blog. I mean, what would I write about? I started to tell myself all the reasons why I shouldn’t write a blog: you’re just a student. You’re too young. You’re a Christian. These thoughts kept circling around in my head, I kept telling myself that the world doesn’t care. And that is when it hit me: it wasn’t me saying these things. It’s what I came to believe, living in a society where young people are put down and told to stop trying and where having a religion makes you either irrelevant or bigoted. So I had to ask myself: was this true? Were those reasons valid for not writing a blog? Why, no. No Internet, they weren’t.
And so, a couple weeks before I actually started this blog, I sat down at my computer and opened up WordPress and looked at the website creation and froze. I discovered the real, underlying reason for why I had not done this before: fear. I was terrified. Terrified of what could happen, of backlash, of failure and even of success. And with that, I quickly closed the page and put the thought at the back of my mind.
After a while, it came to me. This must be how most (if not all) writers on WordPress begin. Afraid of the future, the unknown. I started to browse various websites and blogs after I created my account and thinking to myself ‘These people are so good at writing’ or ‘Wow, I could never compete with that!’. I remember telling myself I would just create a WordPress account to read blogs and support my friends website. And then I started to hunger to share my story. To write down my thoughts. To be brave. ‘I’ve already written some articles for my friends website, I can do this’ is more or less how my thought pattern went before I started setting up my own blog. [Note: kudos to WordPress, the setup is very easy with the help that they give].
To cut a long story short, I eventually had something very basic running, with just one post that I shared on Facebook. Within a day, I had deleted that and posted a very edited version. That was two weeks ago (just under). I remember the fear as I held my mouse over the ‘Publish’ button for my testimony. And soon after, I found encouragement in other blogs that also shared stories of hope. And here I sit, two weeks later with thoughts racing through my head like the Wacky Racers.
I sat down and asked myself; now that I’ve started this blog and have invited people (that’s you :D) to walk with me on this journey in discovering and learning more about Christ and leading a Christ-like life, where do I go from here? How do I feel?
Thoughts on Writing:
Writing is an odd duck. I both want to write and wish to hide away from responsibility and commitment like a vampire from sunlight. It’s such an odd thing, writing something because I want to write and share, not because I want to pass my course. I quickly discovered that I rather enjoy it, when it isn’t writing things that aren’t short stories to my eldest sister (because typing a short story of a page on WhatsApp is a thumb work-out). I want to keep my writing relevant for young Christians and also pleasing to read. WordPress makes writing so easy with the layout and the options and the browser tabs and all its other gadgets and widgets, I can understand why a lot of bloggers today use it.
I imagine that my feelings write (see what I did there?) now are akin to those of other bloggers who have recently started writing: relief and excitement. There’s relief in my heart, because now I’ve started writing and it’s off my chest. It’s like that feeling when you start working on some big assignment or project and you feel glad just to get it started. Now that I’ve started writing, I’m excited to continue, I really am. I never expected the desire to continue writing to be mine, but it is. I’d definitely say that I’m looking forward to seeing what the future holds for this page. It’s a new and exciting adventure this and I look forward to continuing it with you.
This is new and exciting and scary to me. But I’m looking forward to the challenge and the adventure that lies ahead. That’s one of the exciting things about trying something different: you never know what could happen. With that in mind, I’d like to leave you with this quote by one of my favourite authors:
“Little by little, one travels far” ~ J.R.R. Tolkien